Funny Jokes at Jokes Village

If it’s true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

There were 2 kids walking home from school.They had found a shortcut the day before, so they took this shortcut.

They found a old cabin.They pressed their ears against the door & they heard
“When I get ya I’m gonna eat ya!”

The 2 kids open the door & the voice grew louder! They had noticed that the voice was coming from the closet, so they slowly opened the door & found an old man picking his nose.

The old man says,”Sorry, I don’t have enough for all of us!!!!!!!”

What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.

What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Lots of room!

A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom, I’ll show you how.”

An anxious woman goes to her doctor. “Doctor,” she asks nervously, “can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?”

“Certainly,” replies the doctor, “Where do you think lawyers come from?”

The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said:”Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.”

“That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, “Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change…”

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. “How old was your husband?” he asked.

“He was ninety-eight,” she answered softly. “Two years oder than I am.”

“Really?” the undertaker said. “Hardly worth going home, wouldn’t you say?”

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and he said he’d quit — seems they’d matched him up with his wife.

Q: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.

Why didnt NASA send a woman to the moon yet?

Because it does not need to be cleaned!