Funny Jokes at Jokes Village

We know that you would give your life for us. Promise!

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I’ll say it was your stupidity.

Well, I’ll see you in my dreams — if I eat too much.

Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice.

Let’s play horse. I’ll be the front end and you be yourself.

I’ll never forget the first time we met — although, I’ll keep trying.

You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you’ll do.

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.

When the girl got back from the date she said “That was the worst night of my life!”

“Why is that?” her mom asked.

“He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“He’s the original owner mom!”

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Justin says, “Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie.”

Britney looks up at the sky and says, “Where?!”

Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls?

Because they couldn’t spell their names!

A couple have not
been
getting along for years, so the husband thinks,
“I’ll buy my wife a
cemetery plot for her birthday.”
Well, you can imagine her
disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this
time he
doesn’t get her anything.
She says, “Why didn’t you get me a
birthday present!?”
He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last
year!”

Q: What is the pink stuff between

elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.

Why do you need a driver’s
licence to buy liquor
when you can’t drink and drive?

Does killing time damage

eternity?

“Will I ever be able to race my
horse again” the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, “You certainly
will, and you’ll probably beat her
too!”

Do you know what a mice said when
it saw a bat?
Mom ! I see an angel.