You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me…
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can’t understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this… YOW!
Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway’s not here right now, but if you’ll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he’ll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And remember, confession doesn’t count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail!
Hello, you have reached the DOE, that is, the Department Of Enemies. Rick Burger is not here right now, so leave a message saying who you are, what you want to argue about, and where you’ll be, and I’ll be there.
Do fish get thirsty?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it
rains?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do
they make TEFLON stick to the
pan?
If you are driving at the speed of light
and you turn on your
head-lights, what happens?
Why is brassiere singular and panties
plural?
If all the nations in the world are in
the debt, where did all the
money go?