Funny Jokes at Jokes Village

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.

“Doc,” the frustrated commuter complained, “I’m fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week. But now, when I get in the tunnels with those four other guys crowded into the car, I get anxious and dizzy, and I feel like I’m going to explode.”

Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had diagnosed the ailment.

“What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?”

“No, no, no, my boy. You have something that is becoming more and more common.”

“Tell me! What is it?”

“You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.”

A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game.

The young couple found their seats in the crowded stadium and was watching the action when a substitute was sent into the game. As the promising young player ran onto the field to take his position, the boy pointed at him and said to his girlfriend, “Keep an eye on that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year.”

His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, “That’s the strangest proposal I ever heard, but I accept!”.

A college student in a philosophy class was

taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single
line which simply said: “Is this a
question?” - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an

answer.”

The student received an “A” on the exam.

A
Boston brokerage house advertised for a “young Harvard graduate or
the
equivalent.”

Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale
grad. He said, “Do
you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part
time?”

Two storks are
sitting in their nest: a
father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is
crying and crying and
father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t
worry, son. Your mother
will come back. She’s only bringing people babies
and making them
happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job.
Mother and son are
sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and
mother is saying,
“Son, your father will be back as soon as
possible, but now he’s
bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A
few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son has

been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and

the parents ask him where he’s been all night.

The baby
stork says, “No where. Just scaring the hell out of college

students!”

Q. How many law professors does it take to
change a light
bulb?
A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the
research grant.

Q: How
many graduate students does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take him/her more
than five years to do
it.

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for
all male students, so too
the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this
rule will be fined $20 the first
time. Anybody caught breaking this
rule the second time will be fined
$60. Being caught a third time will
incur a hefty fine of $180. Are
there any questions?”
At this, a male student in the crowd
inquires, “Er… How much for a
season pass?”

Q: What do college students and deer have in

common?
A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at
your
headlights.

A college friend was going to meet a young
lady he new.
“An old flame? I asked.
He winked and said, “More like
an unlit match.”

“Now my motto in
life,” said the school
chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray
hard. How about you,
Harriet?”
“My motto is let bygones be bygones.”
“That’s good. Why
did you choose that?”
“Then I wouldn’t have to take any history
classes!”