The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated , embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
From the rear of the plane, a man in the uniform of an Air Force General walks slowly forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, and sits quietly as his mother fastens his seat belt.
All the other passengers are relieved and grateful; they smile and nod at the General with gestures of thanks as he slowly makes his way back to his seat.
One of the cabin attendants approaches the General. “Excuse me, Sir,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”
The old man smiles serenely and confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the door on any flight.”
As Marjorie left the grocery store, she noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.
“I’ll buy a chocolate bar on one condition,” she said to the boys. “You eat it for me.”
True to her word, Marjorie bought one and handed the candy back to the boy.
He shook his head. “I can’t,” he said.
“Why not?”
Looking her directly in the eye, he responded gravely, “I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers.”
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing.
One of the boys replied, “This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but since only one of us can take him home we’re having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today.”
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie?” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”
There was complete silence for about a minute while the boys all looked at each other and lowered their heads. Just as the Reverend began to think he had gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and handed him the leash. “Alright, reverend,” he said, “You win. You can take him home.”.
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and rushed right over.
“Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget it for now. It’s dinnertime. Come eat with us, and then we’ll come back and I will help you turn the wagon back up.”
“That’s mighty nice of you, ” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.”
“Aw, come on,” the farmer insisted, “you have to eat! We’ll get back to the wagon soon.”
“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But Pa won’t like it.”
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”
“Don’t be foolish.” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is your Pa?”
“Under the wagon.”.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer it.
“It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother.
Then she said into the phone, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
As Marjorie left the grocery store, she noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.
“I’ll buy a chocolate bar on one condition,” she said to the boys. “You eat it for me.”
True to her word, Marjorie bought one and handed the candy back to the boy.
He shook his head. “I can’t,” he said.
“Why not?”
Looking her directly in the eye, he responded gravely, “I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers.”
There were 2 kids walking home from school.They had found a shortcut the day before, so they took this shortcut.
They found a old cabin.They pressed their ears against the door & they heard
“When I get ya I’m gonna eat ya!”
The 2 kids open the door & the voice grew louder! They had noticed that the voice was coming from the closet, so they slowly opened the door & found an old man picking his nose.
The old man says,”Sorry, I don’t have enough for all of us!!!!!!!”
A thief was taking red paint and he was running fast. “Can’t spill the paint. ” He said as he ran. But he tripped over a rock.
“ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG NOOOO I SPILED THE PAINT ON MY HANDS!” And the law got him.
“Talk about getting caught red handed!,” The police man joked.