For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.
She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.
“Oh, I’ve done all the talking, and I’m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me… what do you think of my grandchildren?”
You are on the bus when you suddenly realize � you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, ‘I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!!
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
The driver replied, ‘No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.’
What do you get if you cross a
sheep with a holiday resort ? The Baaahaaamaaas !
“I can’t believe
it,” said the
tourist. “I’ve been here an entire week and it’s done
nothing but
rain. When do you have summer here?”
“Well, that’s hard to
say,” replied the local. “Last year, it was
on a Wednesday.”
How can you tell elephants love to
travel ?
They are always packing their trunk !
Well-known lodging chain
announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you’ll see
a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an
M&M.
What is a twip?
A twip is what
a wabbit takes when he wides a twain.
What
people travel the most?
Romans.
What does a witch get if she’s a
poor traveler?
Broom sick.