Funny Jokes at Jokes Village

I just came across this exercise suggested for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems easy, so I thought I’d pass it on to some of my friends.

The article suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb.potato sacks, then 50-lb. potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks; but be careful.

A man’s car was stalled in the middle of a busy street, and the woman behind him honked continuously as he tried to restart it.

Finally, the man got out and walked to the woman’s car.

“I can’t seem to get my car started,” the man said, smiling. “If you’ll go and start it for me, I’ll stay here and lean on your horn.”.

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read “Unique Breakfast” so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.

“What’s your ‘Unique Breakfast?’” he asked.

“Baked tongue of chicken,” she replied.

“Baked tongue of chicken?… Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken’s mouth!” he fumed.

Undaunted, the waitress asked, “What would you like then?”

“Just bring me scrambled eggs,” the man replied.

The military commander had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from the enemy. So, he summoned a corporal. “I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of a military activity.”

The corporal trudged up the mountain. As soon as he crossed the ridge, he saw a squadron of planes heading their way.

“There are many planes coming!” he promptly radioed back.

“Friends or enemies?” the commander demanded urgently.

The corporal again lifted his binoculars to the sky. “They’re flying very closely together, he replied. “I think they must be friends.”.

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.

When the girl got back from the date she said “That was the worst night of my life!”

“Why is that?” her mom asked.

“He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“He’s the original owner mom!”

I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day?

She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommys of the world go into labor”

~ITS CUZ IM JAZZY~

Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon.

Billy Bob says, “Ya know, I reckon I’m about ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go.

“Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Sue didn’t get pregnant again.”

Lester asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”

Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Betty Sue WITH me.”

Thanks, George in Montgomery, AL.

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose - how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author assured the family he could handle the story as tactfully as possible and was given the go-ahead to write the book.

The book appeared. It said “Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution and was attached to his position by the strongest of ties. His death came as a great shock.”.

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.

When the girl got back from the date she said “That was the worst night of my life!”

“Why is that?” her mom asked.

“He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“He’s the original owner mom!”

3 sky divers were diving but there parachutes were faulty and they all died.
They went to heaven and there before those 3 men stood God.

“Go down the slide and you will receive one wish what you wish for is what you get at the end of the slide, “boomed God’s voice.

The first man slid down and said “SPORTS CAR” and sure-enough there was a sports car.

The second man went down and said “MONEY” and he received money.

The third man jumped down the slide and said “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”